january130 I'm Online

Hi lovely., I don’t know where to begin. I guess I could start with thank you, thank you for everything you made me experience in my life. I appreciate everything you ever did for me. I’m sorry in the past we fought; I honestly can’t stand fighting with you anymore. Ever since we went out my emotions have been weak with you. I am sorry I never gave you a chance in middle school, I guess I was blind. I remember that night you came over and it was the first day I saw you since you moved, you kissed me. I can tell you a kiss could do a lot and make a person feel different about another. Then we had that conversation about Barbie and ken going back out. You didn’t get it at first, ha-ha it made me laugh. There were many nights and days after that. They were probably the best days and nights of my life. Under the fireworks, I swear you’re just a romantic. Water Park, mall, my house, and going on drives. You had me falling for you more and more everyday. We would make sure we matched every time we went out. <3 there are almost more than a million songs we would sing to each other and end up falling asleep on the phone. I would wake up in the morning and see we were still on the phone and laugh. It got to the point in love where we wanted to marry and spend the rest of our lives together. I know you fell in love with me before I did with you. I had to be sure, but like they say nothing lasts forever. I know it wasn’t lust because no sex was involved, well almost. Haha. I had to go through that journey of finding myself and to stop thinking about you. I got there after like 3 ½ months. All those memories were just far from my mind. When you came to visit me it was like a rush through my head. ALL of it came back. I remember looking at your eyes while holding you in my arms, Feeling your face and smiling at you, your smell, your warmth, everything Alex. My brother was mad that you came over, he doesn’t like that you hurt me. He just doesn’t want to see me like that again. But I forgave you and you are my best friend. Lol, I got sick from that night. I have a cold. Honestly I don’t want to feel used. If I could kiss you over and over as a friend I would. I probably could. Sex is a different story. I told you about that. We would have to start from scratch again. I fell for you again that night; I was so tempted to kiss you. It wouldn’t be right though. I was upset the next day, but the day after I was fine. I can tell you I am getting my strength back. The love is still there, all of it is, the in love is slowly dying. It would be difficult if we went back out now or this year. I don’t know where you and Caytie stand in your relationship and if it is as strong as our love was I wouldn’t want there to be an “us.” My trust wouldn’t be strong for you if that’s the case with you and her. I don’t even know if you love her or are in love with her. I am not writing you thinking there is going to be me and you again but telling you I am better and I am moving on. Maybe one day all of our dreams will come true and maybe just maybe there will be us again. Right now I realize I don’t need a guy, I really need to concentrate on school. If I mess with guys it makes me lose focus. If a guy does come rolling along it could be another shot for me. In other words Anthony, he is a good guy and I’m hoping something is going to come out with me and him. It seems that way. Remember not every relationship is going to hurt me. You only hurt me once after all those times we broke up. I was fine the other times. You need to slow down with your love status because you seem to fall easily. It’s not always a good thing. I remember you telling me you couldn’t stay single, if you do end up single try it for awhile, honestly not a bad thing. You need to visit more often and call. Just remember I am always here for you, always. You can tell me anything and I’ll listen. I’ll help you. I love you and that will never change. Listen to the songs I put up. Their ones about us. listen to them all. , , , , You know what I wish? I wish I knew the boy I used to know. People change.