xoGreeneyes17 I'm Online

Achluophobia
Altophobia
Atychiphobia
Decidophobia
Dishabiliophobia
Eremophobia
Gelotophobia
Isolophobia
Neophobia
Metathesiophobia

I Just want to breathe... breathe in without gasping... yet the airs to polluted, to dilluted, to do anything but gasp... gasp when i am around you____ Ringlets of smoke curl in the air, a toxic dance that would have been beautiful, had it not all the filth and decay that comes with poisoning ones own body. I can only look on and smell it's wretchedness, and breathe it in as part of your scent. oh yes, your scent.. a sickly sweet smell that burns of sweat and death, theres a mortality to that smell,
i just want to choke on it, only love keeps me from running away, but even that is turning to ashes under that smoldering smell, like that shifting smoke, your emotions jump sporadically, all sweatness and smiles then anguish and anger, i endure it as i endure breathing in your poison, that poison which drowns my lungs in tar, curdles my breath, and blackens my smile, until there is nothing left to smile at
i try to stand back, to get away without running away, and you are always there to catch me, you hold me in what you call a loving embrace, but i call it a straight jacket

Modality: Cardinal
Element: Fire
Season: Spring
Metal: Iron
Stone: Amethyst / diamond
Color: Red
Planet: Mars
Anatomy: head/ face
Keywords: active, initiating, leading, independent, aggressive, impatient, combative, energetic, pioneering, naive, assertive
People with Sun in Aries are direct, straightforward, and uncomplicated.They're not given to long, drawn-out emotional moments; nor are they big on planning ahead. Instead, they live their lives simply. What is happening right now is most important to Aries. Impatience is a definite vice, and innovation is a huge strength. Aries loves to start anything new, and they have trouble sitting still.Aries generally knows what they want, and they know the quickest route to getting it. They take shortcuts if they must, but generally everything is aboveboard. Underhanded just isn't their style. Some Aries people are bold, but even the quieter ones are brave and even plucky in their own way. Independence is their birthright. There's a childlike quality to all Aries Sun people, and it's often quite charming. Some Aries rising people are competitive, but they generally put most of the pressure on themselves. These people love to come out ahead in all that they do. They get ready quickly, walk quickly, and have little patience for dilly-dallying. Their temper is quick, too. It's also quick to disappear. Rarely do you find Aries rising people holding grudges. Their mannerisms are rather simple and straightforward.

You follow a sound so tender and sweet
closer and closer for the chance that you'll meet
the person that carries this delectable sound
with a hope in your heart that she’s stick around
you find yourself lead to a door
not waiting but wanting to hear it some more
you open it up, and step straight inside
to see quite a beauty, while you’re in midstride
Seeing you clearly she accepts you with grace
Drawn to a table you take your place
She offers you chocolate and a cup full of tea
You accept it, infatuated so that you cannot see
That amidst her false hospitality
you’ve fallen into a deadly reality

My favorite game is playing pretend. pretending to like everybody, pretending to care, pretending not to be sad or hurt when i really am. it really is my favorite game, after all, it tells alot about yourself and other people. Only someone who really cares about you can see though the pretending. otherwise, everyone else is just pretending too. I've always wondered when it began. When did everyone start playing pretend? will the game ever stop? i once thought that people were true to their nature, and in some cases people truly are, but not always. In fact, everyone is always hiding their true self. The part of them that they fear no one else can accept. As a result, alot of people end up molding themselves into someone that others want them to be. I find that rather depressing. Acceptance is all anyone wants in life. But how can you be truly accepted if you are not even willing to show the people around you all your little flaws along with your good aspects. But then again i guess you don't want to give too much away. In a society that judges on appearance you can bet that there will definitely be manipulators out there as well. The people who know just what to say or do to bring you down to an all time low. An people wonder why no one is willing to show their true face. In the end pretending will always be the best game, after all everyone is so good at it =).

Have you ever forgot someone
put them to the side and forget them
then after a year or more
you wake up and decide to call them?
i do that all the time.
i feel like i'm asleep all the time
i forget things far to easily
and by the time i wake up
it's way to late to get past that awkwardness
the awkwardness of forgetting them
how do you even begin to explain that?
It's always been that way since i could remember.
i lock myself up in a place in mind
i go there almost all the time now
and whenever i go there
i find it harder and harder to return to the surface world
it can't be helped though
i prefer my world over this one
this chaotic, terrifying world
to much expectation, too much stress, too many thoughts, too much pain
it frightens me, so much so i run from it
funny thing is....
all that running has locked me into a place i can't easily escape from
i keep moving forward, with my mind somewhere else,
as a result, i can't remember anything i've done
i miss out on what's standing before me,
instead i selfishly keep retreating into my daydreams
unable to escape my own haven,
now my own prison

I heard you wallow in sorrow
Your voice faltering when you said
Your heart had an unfixable hole
When your loved one lay there dead

You had an empty place inside
And you slowly felt it growing
You felt helpless and cried
With your lack of never knowing

What would you do when it all came down?
Where would you go from there?
Was there someone on the other side?
Who would still be willing to care?

Is there a place where your heart would find peace?
How could you find the cure?
Would this anguish ever cease?
And how would you ever endure?

I couldn’t understand what you were trying to say
Yet I heard unshed tears where you were
I couldn’t help but cry that day
My heart trembled so much I ensure

2000 miles or more a way
I could never offer you a hug
Doesn’t mean I can’t do so anyway
In thought and in mind with soft love

The taste of bitterness on my tongue
the sheltered cold that breach my bones
the fire rising in my throat
waves of agony in undertones

shudders that shake my fragile frame
tremerous pain crawling up my spine
breath chocked back in wheezing gasps
and slow sounding sobs and quiet whines

wrapped up in quilts to seek the warmth
breath coming slowly eyes clenched tight
body rocking back and forth
seeking rest throughout the night

I know we all have problems
it's not so hard to tell
sometimes things will workout
while others not so well
there are times when we may break down
a crack that starts within
and with our heavy burdens
we do not know where to begin

life started out so simple
yet now it's incomplete
life threw open all its doors
and swept me off my feet
i've lost so many loved ones
and still i don't let go
those moments were just to precious
a fact that i now know
And with it followed heartbreak
those cuts will heal in time
for now i'll just make some new bonds
that solely are just mine
I'll sew a design together
so these ties will form a quilt
one ruled by laughter and kindness
and never fear or guilt
That blanket is our safety
to help us through a storm
protect us while were sleeping
until it becomes dawn

And when that mornings shining
and your swiftly out of bed
i'll will still be waiting
my hand ruffling the hair on your head
i know that you can't see me
but i will hold you near
and as long as your beside me
you have little then to fear
my arms like wings will hold you
in times of greatest need
let the rain mix with all your tears
in it final healing deed

The wind is salty on the water
My rapid steps begin to falter
The dancing fragments in the air
Twisting trendles of my hair
My eyes are forced upon the ripples
They start to swell and even tripple
And i can see with some detection
The outline of my own reflection
Idly i gaze upon the scene
As if i stepped into a dream
The sunlight warm against my skin
The warmth starts spreading deep within
I lay my head upon the railing
The path that i had been softly trailing
Still beckoned me to walk away
when everything told me to stay
The bridg three feet above the waves
And i enjoyed that summer day
The flashy colors so serene
such a sight to have been seen