Tarable2k7 I'm Online

There is this guy who means the world to me. He knows who he is. I love him with all my heart, I have never felt anything like this before. I have never missed someone as much as I miss him right now. I mean not just oh I wish he was here it would be better if he was. I catch my self looking for him when I take the trash out every night. And whenever I hear a noise outside my window I swear it is him. Whenever I see a white car I have to look back to make sure it's not him. I even looked in my old locker at Superkick's to make sure he didn't leave a note in there. He was and still is the best thing that has ever happened to me. We are meant to be. There is no way we aren't; we started talking at too perfect of a time. He helped me through a really bad break-up. (Of course it ended up being for the better.) But he made me realize that my ex wasn't worth it ( and he definitley wasn't, sorry Keith, actually I take that back I'm not sorry.) The only 'problem' with him is that no one will accept our relationship. It is the most awesome relationship ever but still no one will accept it because he's 12 years older than me and I'm a 'minor'. It's like my friend Jordan said, if I really do love him( which I do, no doubt) than age doesn't matter. But everyone doesn't want to see me 'get hurt' by him. They don't realize that they're just making it worse by not letting me see him. It hurts not to be able to talk to him or see him. It hurts more than he could ever hurt me. Plus, I highly doubt he'd ever do anything to hurt me. ( Not on purpose anyway). I had the best summer I've ever had this summer, and the beginning of October was even better! It hurts just to think that I can't see him for 2 years. It seems so long. Today, I was watchin HBO and Happy Feet came on and I just started crying. My mom looked at me like I was crazy but she didn't ask. That was the movie we watched after he finally told me he liked me. It hurt to be watching it without him and I just felt this emptiness. My arm felt really cold because his arm wasn't up against it. It was weird but I remembered exactly when we started pinching each other and when we held hannds. As soon as that part came on I was done for.
The other thing that sucks is I can't go to Superkick's I love it there (not just because of Tim). I love martial arts, I love the friends I have there. In the past month I have been there 3 times. It sucks beause I am the type of person who has to be moving all the time; I can't sit still. It feels weird not being there. I used to be there all the time. During the summer I was there from 7:30 am to 7:30 pm. I mean it just sucks because I have never found a sport I absolutley love and can't live without, and I've never found a person I can't live without, and I find BOTH and I can't have either of them! God, life sucks sometimes. So I guess I'm gonna be locked inside my room for the next 2 years. But Tim, I will aways wait for you, Just remember I will never stop loving you. Your still mi mejor amigo y amante. No one will ever change that! I MISS YOU SO MUCH! I miss everything about you. Your eyes, the way you laugh, your kiss, the way when I see your car at superkicks my heart skips a beat (still) , the way I feel when I am with you, I even miss being called Tarable!
Oh yeah, my tournament was awesome I wish you could have seen it. That guy beat me though by 2 points in sparring, and I lost the grand champion by 3 points but, not because he did weapons because he didn't do self defense and I did. He won and he deserved it. But he also learned that I can kick ass! :) I think alot of people saw a side of me they had never seen because I've never showed anyone that side of me. Actually I knew I could be aggressive when I needed/wanted to but not that agressive, and I still could have been even more agressive. I didn't want to hurt him though! ;) (It kind of scared me because I don't remember very much of the second round. All I really remember is getting hit in the face and then i got really pissed and gave it my all.