.SierraSuicidal. I'm Online

As i sit on the curb,
gazing across the street
all the memories of you flood back to me.
I remember the happy moments,
as i stand up.
I remember the sad times,
as i walk out to the middle.
The days that lifted me up so high i couldnt be touched..\as i stare blankly into the mist.
The days that tormented me..
the long conversations that,
once they were over,
had me wanting more.
When the light flickers from red to green,
a sea of rushing lights fill my pupils.
The only sounds..
your voice, the splash of rain.
i loved it..
i take back the thousands of kisses i layed upon your tender lips,
with my eyes closed so tight.
As i look up at the sky,
my eyes shut..
all i see is your face.
Hit,
then, blackout.

I was someone when I was with you,
Now I am a no one and I feel blue,
You just walked on by,
All I can do is cry,
So now I no,
You never loved me so,
You broke my heart,
Right from the very start,
Everyday I try,
So hard not to die,
I want to kill myself,
I got a knife off the shelf,
I sat on my bed,
You were the only thought in my head,
I slid the knife across my wrist real slow,
Look at what I’ve done now I’ve got to go,
I’m going no where
And I don’t care,
I could end up dead,
All I can see is red,
Last night I drank and drank,
Because you dumped me for that skank,
I thought you loved me,
Now I can see,
That what you said was a lie,
Now all I want to do is cry,
I listen to that special song,
And I wonder where I went wrong,
All this time I though I loved you too,
But I guess I was wrong now I feel blue,
I guess love is a thing I’m not supposed to do,
But I fell in love with the only you,
Now I no I could never love again,
I didn’t just lose you as a boyfriend,
You meant a lot more,
Why did you close that door?
I want to die,
I cannot cry.
My tears are flowing for you
As my mind wonders and heart beats
My body is nothing without you
And as the wetness of my cheeks are beginning to dry
And my thoughts weaken and try to forget
I feel like nothing without you
The beats within my chest were real
Something that no one will ever steal
When there is nothing without you
But as I try to forget you more and more
My body grows weaker and begins to wear
Mind floats, rises to react
I know I'm nothing without you...
I'm not okay
I'll lie to myself
Along with everyone else
I'll say i'm alright
I'll say i'm ok
But, no matter how hard i try
Nothing Changes
Why won't they listen
What can I say
All I want is to be free
Sadly, I know the only way
What if I take my life
Maybe then they'll see
I was never ok..

what would you do if?
1. I was right next to you:
2. I kissed you:
3. I lived next door to you:
4. I started smoking:
5. I was hospitalized:
6. I was drunk:
7. I hugged u:
8. I asked you to leave:
9. I asked you out:

What do you think about my?
10. personality:
11. eyes:
12. hair:
13. body:

Would you?
14. be my friend?:
15. keep a secret if i told you one?:
16. kiss me?:
17. go on a date with me?:
18. keep in touch?:
19. date me?:

Have you ever?
20. lied to make me feel better?:
21. wanted to kiss me?:
22. wanted to bite me?:
23. kept something important from me?:
24. wanted to cuddle with me?:

And more.
25. who are you?:
26. are we friends?:
27. when and how did we meet?:
28. describe me in one word:
29. what was your first impression?:
30. what reminds you of me?:
31. if you could give me anything what would it be?:
32. how well do you know me?:
33. when's the last time you saw me?:
34. ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?:
35. are you gonna post this so you can see what I say about you:

those wonderful moments
living
i wanted to stay with you forever
but then...
crushed
pain
i loved you
but obviously you didnt love me back
you lied to me
i'll never forget it
no one cares
you said you never liked me
and that if i died
u'd be able to live still
well if you died
i'd die also
i jus wanna die
now
so i guess
i'll lay here in agony
watching my tears
fall onto my pillow
now that your gone
there is nothin or no one
to live for
my cuts werent helping
ive thought it for so long
all those days..
watching the blood
trickle down
from the blade
to the floor
staining
the scars it left
will always remind me of my troubles
but then you..
kept telling me
people DO care
but i know they dont
you said if i started caring
other people would, too
thats a lie
i said i wanted to kill myself
you didnt let me
my life sucks without you
strangle me,
shank me,
stab me,
throw me off a high building,
it doesnt matter what you do to kill me,
just do it
why did you refuse ?
why didnt you jus let me die ?