choosing my boat

Created by katalina42 on Jun 6, 2009

This playlist has the songs There Goes The Fear by Doves, Extraordinary Machine by Fiona Apple, Times Like These by Jack Johnson, Going to Where the Tea Trees Are by Peter von Poehl, New Way Home by Foo Fighters, and more.

'You can't have your feet in two different boats. And when you choose your boat, you can't keep looking back or you won't move forward. Choose your boat, and look ahead.' Wise words given as a parting gift before I left for Oz. She knew me well, and the constant tug-of-war of looking back and throwing forward that characterize most of my journeys.

I know that 'home' is a place I take with me wherever I go, and through the years I've left pieces of me in many different places and taken pieces from them/there in return. This is a tug-of-war mix: sentimental pulling back 'til it seems as if I'm not moving anymore, then suddenly throwing myself forward in the excitement of finding what lies ahead, and in the middle the stillness and peace of knowing the truth of the word Home.

1. And cars speed fast
Out of here
And life goes past
Again so near
There goes the fear again
There goes the fear

2. I certainly haven't been spreading myself around
I still only travel by foot and by foot, it's a slow climb,
But I'm good at being uncomfortable, so
I can't stop changing all the time

***

If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it, the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me, or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it, I'm an extraordinary machine

3. But somehow I know it won't be the same
Somehow I know it will never be the same.

4. So I will go
to where the tea trees are.
Climbing over question marks,
need to straighten some out.
Take them off my shoulder,
put some space between.

5. I love this leash that holds me, when I try to run away

Im not scared, I felt like this on my way home
Im not scared, I pass the boats and the kingdome

6. Just feel everywhere at home
Tomorrow is a brand new day
Let's go somewhere else
Universal Traveler

7. so i cry hard, let it fall
and i won't stop until my tears are all shed

8. They call me The Seeker
I've been searching low and high
I won't get to get what I'm after
Till the day I die

9. I was following the pack
all swallowed in their coats
with scarves of red tied ’round their throats
to keep their little heads
from fallin’ in the snow
And I turned ’round and there you go
And, Michael, you would fall
and turn the white snow red as strawberries
in the summertime

10. I want to see the wounded moon
I want the sea to break through
I want it all to be gone tomorrow
so I've come to say goodbye

11. I feel it all, I feel it all
I feel it all I feel it all
The wings are wide, the wings are wide
Wild card inside, wild card inside

12. And everything was closed at coney island, and i could not help from smiling.
Brooklyn will fill in the beach eventually and everyone will go except me.

13. We are all like astronauts
Discovering infinity

14. When the night falls
We see the star of wonder

15. So, let go,let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
So, let go, let go
Just get in
Oh, it's so amazing here
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown

16. All I know is I've gotta be
Where my heart says I oughta be
It often makes no sense In fact,
I never understand these things I feel

17. One step at a time
One hope then another
Who knows where this road may go?
Back to who I was
On to find my future
Still my heart still needs to know

Bonus track: Manila. For my spicegirlz, who are leaving to come back and coming back to leave.