Dopamine. I'm Online

i would like to speak to you....
yes you.
simply for a few seconds, through this computer screen.

life is very puzzling, they say. but its only a four piece puzzle: peace love happiness and food. (yes, food) and the best thing is, it doesnt matter how you do the puzzle or even if you get to complete it. you should just ENJOY it. because its so beautiful. pry your eyes open and see that

I'm at a peculiar spot at the moment, where i feel so pure. i'm completely prone to happiness because i allow it to enter me. its like an open, fresh wound. infested with smiles, laughs, unexpected suprises, and butterflies. this is a beautiful feeling, and a spectacular infestation i dont mind at all. hmm. sometimes i dont know what to do, who i am, where i'm going, or why i exist. but it doenst matter one bit, and this completely blows my mind to other dimensions and back again to enjoy LIFE AND LIVING. in this moment right now, i swear i'm infinate. and do you want to know the most beautiful part of that........ you are too! I hope you klnow and are well aware that you are ALIVE every single human being on this world is alive, it wont do you any good though unless you FEEL it. your mind is alive, your soul is infinate, and you are the universe. realize this with me and will experience complete bliss.

i love everybody that i know, and those i have yet to meet. i cry tears of joy at the thought of how lucky i am to press my toes against the soil of this beautiful planet i live on, and look into the sky as each day passes, so quickly so beautiful so graceful. yes indeed, i am very much in love with life. i am happy, and optimistic, happier than a bird with a french fry. and i want every singular soul on this earth to feel the same way. and i hope you smile many more times than you frown today.

let me take you far away. to the root of your happiness thats always been ever so unreacheable in your eyes. happiness, thats where i live. and i'd like to make that your permanent residence too.

so i'm here to live.
with all of you!
come on. lets go, its time to enjoy living.
i'l show you how.

today i want you to look up at the blue sky, and feel just as big, if not even bigger.

/sends into world.
=}

imagine losing control of your mind, your thoughts, and distinguishing what is socially acceptable and what is not. All of this placed upon you by todays society. Well this could be your life in a matter of sentences.

today our life revolves around television and the media. I think we have become so obsessed with what brittney spears has done, keeping up with the newest reality show, and the same violence that never seems to fade away in the news. We have become so obsessed with this crap in a box we lost sight of the reality in our own lives, and the meaning of what living truly means. Many far more incredible things have been discovered in the past. And to think all without television.... I know your mind is just as capable to be enlightened. Because thats all we really need. The acceptance of enlightment. Ah. And the thing that gets of the most is the fact that the government is forcing everyone to switch over the digital tv. Its like they know how much the television brainwashes us, that they want to continue to do so. if we can rid of the main root of what's dumbing us down, then maybe it's not to late to save this sad thing we live in today, the society of today's generation.

well this blog is pretty much a big fuck you. a fuck you to the government, and a fuck you to the new season of the hills. ughh.....(it's like it never ends!)

do you really need a home to have heart?
of course not.

i've always wondered...are bums more happy than us in life? sometimes i think that's the case here. i mean yeah sure they have no stable place to call home, no shelter or roof to live under...but that's all materealistic things. do you need materialistic things to be considered living a happy life? sure, we may have pitty for them but this is coming from the people of today who need to use a bluetooh headset to talk on the phone..... with their hands empty! but i truly think we are the ones who should be pittied. i mean we struggle everyday to work, earn money, and become addicted to buying the newest game console or biggest plasma screen tv, but that just leaves us more dependent on material things. now i'm not saying, i wish i was homless or anything.... but sometimes im jealous of them. they aren't puppets to the government like we are. no strings attached for them. but it's sad if you look at the price they have to pay, to be free. i think there's gotta be another way.

ha. so am i the only crazy one for thinking this? or are you all crazy and i'm simply sane? eh. whatever. you decide.

..to the following in my life:

-so those who know me well know that i am a very, very, imaginative person (especially when it comes to drawing). So my first thing to give props to has to be the, "make a random line doodle and draw something out of it-game!" If you want to see something trippy, then watch me play this game. Im a fckn' BEAST at it. I once drew a beaver out of a picture of a penis, no lie. aha.

-Ah. Giraffes. of course i had to put them on this list! The peaceful, clumbsy-looking animals that run with such grace. hmm..actually i dont know how i came about with this obsession for them. I think it was more of a "I think i'm in love with giraffes," kinda moment, where the world seemed to make sense after that. haha. =P well, in that case i might as well put The beatles up here with them, since they both share my unhealthy obsession for the two. ah the beatles....the most raddestbadassmothafckn band ever to make music. writing about everything from cheesy love songs you cant get out of your head, to the most ridiculous songs that make complete sense in all of its nonsense. So Beatles....major props goes out to you. four words: "Ku Ku Ka Choooo!"

-Okay so another random game that pretty much owns my world, started off with putting the words: "in bed..." after every fortune in a fortune cookie. I promise you, you will pretty much love this game and every single fortune you get 45749584795745 times better than the original one! ahah.

-Bob: haha, this one is one of my most random things on here. but somehow i find the name bob to be quite amusing and badass at the same time. how can you not like a three letter, palindrome name?? oh, ooh. and it's even in a word (in which i cant help but to chuckle everytime i say it)....discomBOBulated. gah. i wish my name was in a word too......discomKATIAlated. ah much better.

-who would have known that three numbers and a dot in the middle would be one of the greatest inventions ever made, one to love and hate at the same time. so yes, ladies and gentlemen...i am talking about the best radio station 90.1. the trippy radio station, playing everything from funk japanese songs you have no idea what the hel they're saying, to TRUE underground rap. but noo...what truly won me over was that this sation has a "thurday nite METAL show!" and get this, best of the beatles hour on sunday mornings! oh man....BADASS..... it's 99.99999999% perfect because this badass station gets the crappiest signal ever. but it's okay KSYM...i'll hold the antenna straight anytime for you. =D

-So speaking of delicious, chocolate filled food served for breakfast...my "yumm's" and =D's are devoted to chocolate funnay face pancakes at IHOP! and just for the record, i've never ordered anything but this at ihop. so i always look foward to eating the huge, fat, smiling, chocolate, breakfast, with enough sugar to give a diabetic a coma and back.......for more, that is! =D


-oh man how can i almost forget to put one of my favorite places to go in the entire world! the rock, ah. this peaceful getaway on a mountain overlooking the mall, night sky, oh yeah and deers and wolves running around everywhere. amazing...'nuff said.

-MGM cartoons, probably the only good thing left on tv today, well besides tom and jerry too! i mean what cartoon can get away with showing this on tv to young children? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hVxOEFM4oo&feature=related

-and my last but major props goes out to my favorite subject...guys. =D nothing can make me melt more than an attractive intellectual guy. wait, scratch that. it's a tie with gauges, samll ones though. none big enough to stick my entire head in. aha.

FIN.

I tend to worry alot about the current state of our society today, our government, and mainly our planet as a whole. Ashamed and angered at what we have let it come to....ashamed mostly at the people who have allowed this to happen as well. The need for change is among us, and stronger than ever, increasing greatly as each day passes. It has gotten to the point where the problem has blinded us like mace straight up in your eyes.

I have a hard time restraining my disgust for the majority of the american population who don't care to even open their eyes and accept the reality in front of them. Why? Because they are busy driving around in their fancy cars, glued to their plasma televisions showing nothing but lies (except if it's Tom and Jerry cartoons of course. Because tom and jerry, rocks.) It's even more sad when we clearly see the world crumbling all around us, destroying the all near future. When we are too busy fighting the war, than fighting fckn' poverty. War costs millions, but peace is free. (...Eh, I know. A bit cheesy, but the cheesy statement speaks the truth. no lie..) No one knows what to do, who to blame...for when the day finally comes when you realize you are fucked, you will not find the answer in the Fox News, because surprise, surprise, the mass media is completly controlled by the government. You are being told what they want you to hear, and what they don't. So now you realize you have to dig deeper to search for the truth. But the truth is, the truth is slapping you straight in the face right now, but you're just to dead to even care.

"The government should fear the people not the other way around. Without us acting like their puppet they are nothing." The peopblem has risen, and face it...we are barley scratching the surface.

what are you living for? Think about this before you answer and I mean really think about it. Don't just say your family and friends or you boyfriend/girlfriend...blah.blah.blah. ask yourself, What are you really living for everyday? Do you even have something to live for yet?

in finding the answer we all will be placed with distractions and obsticles that sidetrack us to discover the answer, such as the television, the computer, and damn internet, etc... lol. so its best to say generally, we all work to survive and live. because we are all born with an innate instict to remain alive, and will do anyhting just to avoid changing that. i mean if you think about it, we are really screwing ourselves over.... im gonna get a bit religous so bear with me.... lets say at the end of life, you were to gather up all your goals and accomplishments and everything you have aquired throughout your life and place them in front of god for him to see. what have you accomplished? what will you show, or will you arrive empty handed?

i live for having something to be proud of at the end of life, something where i can say: "i left a mark on this world because of that..."

its weird not knowing what your living for and why your here, "It's a pretty dangerous state of mind actually". but for me i know it's to seek the highest form of knowledge, become 100% happy, and have a huge impact in the world in some way.

"you cant experience being alive without realizing you must die. but its just as impossible to realize you have to die without thinking about how incredibly it is to be alive."

overall, "find something to live for and much more and along the way live life for every moment. Ever smile, every laugh, and Every memory made. simply: make your life worth living."

Random theories i agree on: (no order.)

"momento mori"
What is life? a madness. what is life? but an illusion, a shadow, a story in the making, for all life is but a dream. You cant experience living life with out coming to realization with the fact that you must die. But then again if you think about it, it's just as impossible to realize you have to die without thinking how amazingly incrdible it is to be alive.

I never want to grow up. Due to the fact that babies have this faculty of wonder. because as they grow this faculty of wonder seems to diminish rapidly. For example as babie's gradually learn to recognize what a dog is, every time the child sees a dog it jumps up and down in astonishment, saying "bow wow!". We who are older and wiser are exausted by this act, which is repeated a bajilion times before a child learns to pass a dog without going crazy. the world quickly becomes a daily habit, and the process of growing up makes us lose the abilty of wonder. so bottom line: do not-not grow up. instead keep your faculty of wonder, and avoiding taking the world for granted.

ah... today's society, something i despise more than mustard itself. (and i really really dont like mustard. eww) technological developments have increased dramatically in the past 30-40 years than in the WHOLE course of history put together. and still we have probably only witnessed the beginning.... because nature is no longer somehting ma is simply a part of . Man kind is seriously starting to to intervene and control nature. but not in a good way. For example, new cars, CO2 emitted machines, and those dumb little robotic vaccum cleaners are all threat to the enviorment. it has made people see the technological revolution as a perilous maladjustment to natural conditions. dumb fucks... we have started something we can no longer control. however, in my OPTIMISTIC point of view has concluded that even though we are cradled by technology, we will gradually learn to control nature without at the same time threatning its very existance and our own. in reality, "what piece of work isnt man?"

Another thing man has screwed with and changed is religion. i think an individulal's personal relationship with God is wayy more important than the relationship with the church as an organization. people dont need the intercession of the church in order to recieve God's forgivness from sins through the church's rituals. you can easily recive 'free' redemption through faith alone.

its crazy to belive that all material things, and things that happen around us are all an expression of God or nature. so if you think about it the thoughts we think are also God's thoughts- you are the expression of something infinitely bigger. you can say that you are thinking your thoughts, or that you are moving, but could you not also say that is nature thinking and moving thorugh you? for example, you may have the right to move your thumb anyway you chose. but your thumb can only move according to nature. it cant jump off your hand and run away. so the way applies to you. come to think of it, what are we but a finger on the hand of God. "our soul is limitted for it is more or less imprisoned in a mechanical body."

ahh....of course how can i ignore the MOST important issue we face today in this world. a scenerio that presents itself time after time, one that will probably never be changed....the trix rabbit. a figure doomed of the existance without a bowl of his favorite cereal. plus often marginalized as "silly". =O ohh...the humatity! and the explanation is both of age and discrimination ( because we are told that trix is specifically reserved for "kids") well you know what... screw you society......

**The best things in life are..

unseen, thats why we kiss, pray and dream with our eyes closed**

A smart girl listens but dosen't believe; kisses but dosen't fall in love; And leaves before she is left

*Take nothing but photographs, leave nothing but footprints and kill nothing but time.*

If your not living life on the edge your taking up too much space .

The spaces between your fingers were made so anothers could fill them in <33

a kiss can be a coma, a question mark or an exclamation point... the basic spelling every girl should know

Keep your head HIGH, there are people who would kill to see you fall

what would you attempt to do if you knew you couldn't fail?

Don't make someone a priority if they only make you an option

obstacles were put in your way to see if what you want is really worth fighting for

Look for the good in people; speak only words of kindness, and walk with the knowledge that you are never alone

if you cant get someone out of your head, maybe they're supposed to be there

**I like warm days when the sun kisses my cheeks**

anyone that says sunshine is the only thing that brings happiness has never danced in the rain =]]

you can never be old and wise if you were never young and crazy!

i love you more today than yesterday, but nothing will compare to tomorrow

whenever you get the chance, smile just because you can :D

failure is the key thing to having great success in life.

Admire people for their strengths, and love them for their imperfections

I love all kinds of music. im not picky as long as it has a good beat and makes me wanna dance.

Don't rush life, after all .. you've only got a lifetime!

those who matter don't care, those who care should matter.

Dream as if you'll live forever.. live as if you'll die today

**Love dosen't make the world go round, its what makes the trip worthwhile**

Everyone is going to hurt you, you just have to decide who is worth the pain

just give me a chance, and you will be wishing you would have never left.

My life revolves around the things i believe in and the people i love.

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up these defenses, you build this whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They do something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own any more. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. not just in the mind. It's a soul hurt, a body hurt, a real gets inside you and rips you apart pain. I hate love. - Neil Gaiman

Just some many random thoughts i collected on life to ponder:

What's the point of this life? It is so small on the scale of eternity. I mean, we live.. maybe love, strive for the best, and you know what? We all die in the end. It's the one only certainty in life.. none of us get out of it alive. So, really.. what are we working for? Why do we work our asses off and get an education we don't even really want most of the time? Why? I mean, why can't we just do our own thing and be happy for this short amount of time?

Its crazy if you think about; What if the life your living right now, is just a long memory. and is actually your life flashing before your eyes as your slowly dying. Then once its over, Bam. your life ends, and your dead... I also always think, what if your life is just a long dream? Thats destined to end at a secific time and place. Alot of the times I feel so surreal, or as if I am the only real person that is actually existing and everyone & everthing else is non-real and non-living. Or sometimes I wonder if dreams are real and reality is the 'dream'.

Oh, and then other times I realize that at the end of the day all anyone has is themselves. You're stuck with yourself. You can kill yourself, but that's not going to seperate you from yourself. You can pretend to be someone you're not.. but in reality your're still you. No matter whether you have a husband/boyfriend and tons of friends or no one at all.. you're the only one who knows every aspect of all your thoughts, secrets, dreams, and feelings through and through. So everyone is kind of alone in an odd kind of way. Yeah, we have connections with other people, but we're the only ones that are guaranteed to be there in the end (if there is an "end").

Hmm...So many theories... Sometimes I want only to die so I can finally discover whats next.I fear the unknown, therefore I fear death the most because, in my eyes, death is the biggest mystery. one you need to experience in order to solve it. so once you solve it, its too late. Deep down I'm scared that this is all that there IS and that once I die, & instead of many answers I'll just have nothing. Death is my biggest fear and deepest desire at the same time,because i want to find out what comes after life. That may sound totally emo, but honestly its true.

See, to me hurt, hate, and love are three words that shape our relationships with others. Hurt I think is the easiest thing felt. It's easy to be hurt by a person, but it's hard to admit a person has hurt you. Giving them that power to know that they affect you that greatly, is hard. Love is something I think that is really hard to feel. One emotion that can only be felt by the ones who were meant to be in your life forever. Hate is a really strong thing to feel. But then again, I think people throw that word around a lot. "I 'hate' her" Really, you dislike her, but saying you hate somone seems easier to say. To me hate is just as all consuming as love. "Ying Yang" kinda thing. You sit there and think and festur about how much you hate this person. The "hate" you feel for someone, over comes you, & enough to over power you as well. You obsess about this person to the point where all you can fixate on is that you hate them so much, to the point where you can barley function. which is very much similar to love.

I've heard that hate has the ability to pull the trigger and kill someone. Not just in a fit of rage, but calmly, & collectively pull the trigger with out any doubts in doing so. If someone were to show you that person you hate as a baby or as a 90 year old, you wouldn't feel remorse or hesitate to do so, because hate overcomes the body and soul. Crazy huh?

...pretty ingruiging. There's something to think about... I post some more later.

"I fear being like everyone I hate, I fear failure, I fear losing control. I love balancing between chaos and control with everything I do. I always have a fear of going one way or another, getting lost in something, or losing everything to get lost in. And I fear being a completely acceptable sheep in society" <333 love it..