And you knew...

And you knew with a status and mood update such as the one that I left tonight that I would be blogging... yea... tonight I am full of emotions...

Mostly anger... pissed off... and it's a righteous anger... I am angry for the right reasons...

You can hurt me... tear me down... put me down... run over top of me and I will deal with my pain in silence... you touch one of the ones that I care about... you hurt them... you put them down... and I will be there on top of you in a heart beat...

Let me put it like this... and maybe this will best describe something about me... a deep hidden childhood fantasy... and I'm putting more of me out there tonight then I normally do... but this is the only way I know how to make my point... I am making a point...

I can remember being in Kindergarten... and I can remember having a dream... a daydream... a daydream that I replayed over and over again in my mind... a girl that I had a crush on (yea I started early) was hurt by another guy in the class... and I came to her rescue... saved her... saved her from the bully...

Such an innocent daydream... such a childish imagination... but...

That daydream formed a mindset within me, a mindset that has driven me through-out my entire life...

I dream of being the night in shiny armour... of being the one to come to the rescue... of being there for the ones that I care about... it goes to the very core of my being... of laying my life down for those that I care about... I could ask for no better death then this...

And so... and so... and so... when I find out that someone that I care a great deal about is being hurt... well to put it mildly I am pissed...

I haven't been this pissed in probably about three or four years... and my true friends know... know that with all that I have been through in the last several years that I have had pleanty of opportunities to be pissed... that I have been pissed... that I know what being hurt is all about... and they also know that I have let it slide... that I let it slide... and not acted upon my anger...

Tonight however, it's different... very different...

It's not me that is being hurt... not me, but someone that I care greatly about... and I am infuriated that someone would treat them in such a way... this I will not let slide...

I can not act... will not act... have not been asked to act... but I will not forget... and I will not sit silently by the sidelines if there is ever a need to act... no, no I will not!

Those of you who truly know me... know that when I set my mind to a project, a task, an idea... when I set my mind to something... that I will not be swayed... that I will not give up... I don't know how to quite...

I am stating now... that if the need arises... I have made my mind up... I have come to an impassable resolve to not be moved or be swayed in reguard to this matter...

I am not hunting for trouble... will go out of my way to avoid it... at the same time... at the same time... I will not sit idly by and watch someone that I care about be tore apart...

No I am not hunting for trouble but if trouble comes hunting the ones I care about... well now that's a different story...

You can take that to the bank...

Willing and ready with resolve...

Stevie E