james...

right now i dont know if i can heal.i thought i found him and now hes gone.i didnt want him to go. i had soo much going on in my life that i didnt want to have to explain it to him,i didnt want to take my stress and anger out on him,i didnt want to lose him over something soo stupid.i just told him i needed a while but not for what exactly.all i did was think about him 24/7 and even had dreams of him. knowing the goals i wanted to reach with him are now gone.all i did was give and give i guess it just wasnt enough.i wish i could go back in time and sucked up what was happening in my life so i could still be with him now.but you have someone and i was to late.i wish i wasnt.i wish i was her.but thats all i can do is wish.nothing more can come out of this sadly but i also wish there could be more to it.everything happens for a reason tho and thats something i have to realize.its whatever. just know i love you..always have always will.no other guy has or can compare to you.there was never another guy.having what has happened tho i dont know if i can move on.i dont think i can let anyone in.its whatever tho.have fun with her.i hope she can be better and give you what i cant.just know i will always love you.