It's not me.

It's really not me. I mean this life...it's not me. Any life that is alive right now, is given by the Father- my Lover.

There are so many things in myself and in this world that I want to change, but it's not in my power. The most I can do is add more stress and expectations on my life, which isn't God's will. His will is that I live daily within His love, mercy and grace. That I seek daily to be near to Him and love and serve others. But so often I pridefully and selfishly look to myself for improvement and achievement. It makes me so tired, and I feel so overwelmed by the pressure to do right and to do it all myself, even though I know He wants to carry my load.

This song by Tenth Avenue North called By Your Side pretty much encapsulates God's song to me these days.

-
Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying?
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love?
Why are you still searching?
As if I'm not enough?
To where will you go child,
Tell me where will you run?
To where will you run?

I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
Please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands, at my side
They swallowed the grave, on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life

I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
Please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Here at my side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
Please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

And I, I love you
And I want you to know
That I, I'll love you
I'll never let you go

I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
Please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Here at my side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
Please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
-

I need to give it all over. He's holding me and looking upon my face with grace and love and mercy.

<3